Monday, August 6, 2012

I Reject My Final Frontier

Much of my life is lived on the keyboard. My work, play, news, socialization has largely been computer based since December of 1996 when I bought my first computer. I now  have an all-in-one desktop, a Nook, an iPad, a Laptop. I believe obtaining all these devices disqualifies me from being a Luddite.

However, there is still one device I don't have and hope to never have: a cell phone. I see individuals carrying these around streets and shopping malls, and it would seem that nobody is ever off their cell phone. The first irritation I receive from these phones is the fact they cause people to crash into me and then give me an angry look that seems to say "why don't you look where you're going?" It seems like they could glance up from their all-absorbing texting and avoid running an old lady down but NO.

Also, why do I want to give anybody the ability to find me anytime day or night? I simply do not. I barely answer my landline. This may be a  malady common to those of us who spent a gazillion years off and on working in occupations that involved answering the phone all the time.

It seems these phones get smarter and smarter all the time -- except when it  comes to the autocorrect thingy, which you'd think would be vastly superior to a mere human editor. However, from humor websites I've visited, I can tell that any feature which will change "china" to a very personal female body part while you're texting with your mother  is one which should not exist or should be deactivated at all times. Are they smart phones, or are they smart@ phones?

What's more, this cell phone is apparently now a must-have for children. And they're not cheap. We know you got Johnny his cell phone so he can call you from the snow drift with a "help help" - but think about how many times last year Johnny lost his mittens. And a cell phone is harder to pin to his coat. Johnny's going to get home just fine, but his phone is stuck somewhere in a snow drift with his mittens.

The cell phone is, for me, the final frontier. Fortunately for me, I rarely go anywhere and if I need rescuing I can always use my landline - or my iPad,Nook,laptop, or desktop.


  1. I agree completely, but the world has moved past us. My big complaint about the "celly" is much like yours...If I'm somewhere where I don't WANT to be found, why would I carry it? I do have one, but all I know how to do is turn it on, call home, and tell my husband I've arrived in one piece at the cabin. Then OFF it goes. (They were created by Satan, doncha know?)

    1. Also the sound quality doesn't seem to be improving much -- "can you hear me now?" "Can you hear me now?" is still being asked.

  2. Being a creature of public transport, I hate the loudness of the cell phone owner (This maybe the "sound quality" problem). It's the, "YES, I'M ON THE BUS... I'LL BE HOME IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES" that grates on my nerves.

    Saying that, I have a cell phone. It cost me £1 and it has "ICE" contact numbers on it. That's "In Case of Emergency" and it has the original £10 credit on it. Fortunately nobody knows it's number or I'd be the one on the bus "YES, I'M ON THE BUS..."